The Art of Roasting.

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Ever found a Schmuck who's overly fond of being fake? or Someone who TyPeS lIke tHis?
Or a pretentious 500 lines caption that deserved a middle finger standing ovation almost instantly?
But couldn't think of a better way to roast the shit out of it.

Welcum/Come to the FuckFeed article about teaching you how to Cumback/Comeback a douchebag.

1. Be Sarcasmic, not Stupid 


 For all you half brained Shakespeareans out here who will be more than willing to point out the use of a unparliamentary word 'sarcasmic'. I'd still use it.

So yeah, what does being sarcastic mean? Rude? No. Ignorant? No. Smart? Fuck Yes.
We as Primarily evolved and technically advanced human beings forget the one thing that really defines us. BRAINS.

 The grey matter can only be used to the 99% when we listen before speaking. When you listen or read through a context, that's when you can mentally create or develop a sense of sarcasm. For everything else it's called Barking.

For obvious reasons, I can't teach you how to be sarcastic, that comes through years of passionate meditation and insults. xD

Moral : Get insulted, learn from the comebacks and vomit out better insults. Be SarcasmMan.
                                                             I will love you 2999.




2. Rest thy roast hammer on bark of justice



Yes, Shakespeare. To roast someone you should have a fair understanding of WHY you should do it?
WHY THE FUCK should I roast?

We as citizens of a Modi loving country tend to forget what the endgame is. Never roast someone for speaking their mind out. Attack only if you are being attacked. DON'T BE NORTH KOREA.
If you think someone is posting shit about climate change in one story and barks about how shitty public transport are. Go ahead and roast the shit out of them.

But if someone is genuine enough to talk about something that offends them. Don't.




Moral : Only the worthy gets the hammer( on their dicks) *sigh*.



3.Personal Roast? WTF is that?


No. Dont fucking be that guy or girl( for the sake of feminists *wink*).
Never, I repeat never roast someone through a personal comment or taunt.
They might have a joke worthy nickname or brainassed way of living. But no.




4. STOP.

No. not this article, but see let's just be serious. If you think your roast has the potential to bring about a nuclear warfare, climate change, dhinchak pooja song or hurt someone's feelings, STOP right there.
We are hoomans. Treat every guy or girl( for the sake of feminism *wink*)  as a hooman.

Moral : Respect. Be respected. Be Salman Khan (or that black buck or the guy from Race 3 who got anal by Bobby (.)(.) deol) xD .



DICKSLAIMER: I bear no responsibility in training you into a comeback throwing machine. This article is a work of fiction(lol) and my joblessness. Dont bark, scream, shout or seduce me.For obvious reasons, I can't teach you how to be sarcastic, that comes through years of passionate meditation and insults. xD


Thank you. Happy roasting.

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